Thursday, September 08, 2011

What Your Candy Says About You

What Your Candy Says About You

Candy. That delicious sugary treat, not that stripper from that place out on the highway. It says a lot about you and not just about your diabetes. Candy sends a message and that message is, "You're fat, stop eating me." But there's another, deeper, more nuanced message that you should know.

Mr. Goodbar: The yellow wrapper says, "Stop, I'm scared", but the "mister" part demands respect. Therefore, it says you're a respectable coward. A person that runs away during a fight, but in an extremely dignified manner.
Twizzlers: Obviously, with a catch phrase like "Make mouths happy", you've got quite the oral fixation if you're popping the red vines. We're not saying you might be a slut, we are saying that you are definitely a slut. Charms Blow Pop: And speaking of oral fixations, Charms is a candy of seduction, but it's also a candy of surprise. Like the candy, you have a hard exterior, but inside you're soft and gooey. Probably because you're internal organs are there. http://blogs.smh.com.au/entertainment/archives/tootsie470.jpg Tootsie Pop: Some say that as a Tootsie Pop person, you're not full of chocolate, but something else that's brown and soft. Like the pop, you're a mystery to get inside. How many licks does it take? It probably depends on how horny you are that day.
Nerds: Well, you need something to eat while surfing the Internet and quite frankly, any sugary substance will do. Like you, this candy is a little too on the nose with your description poindexter.
Pixie Stix: You are a flighty sprite, dancing in the field. Probably because you just ate a straw full of colored sugar. Why don't you just eat it straight from the sugar bag, "Diabetic Debbie"? The heroin of all candy, Pixie Stix say "I really don't give a crap what I put into my body."

No comments:

There was an error in this gadget
There was an error in this gadget