Reasons Why Bowling Is the Greatest Sport Ever
Bowling vs. Basketball: You can't drink beer while playing basketball, you'd spill it all over the court. Basketball requires constant motion, but bowling requires almost constant sitting. Plus you can eat anything from wings to soup, no problem, the waitress at the bowling alley will bring you what you want.
Bowling vs. Football: Sure, football is manly, but it isn't fashionable. You can't look good in all those pads. Bowling, on the other hand, has its own shirt. While jerseys are baggy and ill-fitting without the pads, bowling shirts are perfect for your average strip club.
Bowling vs. Baseball: While baseball is almost as old as bowling, it's traditions have left it only slightly more exciting than golf. Bowling has an intensity you just don't get with your average baseball game. Maybe, if like bowling, all the players drank beer that would help.
Bowling vs. Hockey: Hockey is probably the most manly of sports, but let's face it, the players look like they've been hit in the face with hockey pucks and most of them have. And while bowlers may be over weight, they have a calm, collective cool that is both fashionable and something you'd want your kid to emulate.
Bowling vs. the Olympics: Sure the Olympics are a worldwide spectacle of athletic prowess, but it's a lot of work. Besides, you don't have to go all the way to China to bowl a few frames. You can get the same kind of epic competition at the nearest alley.